http://lolz.info All types of Jokes Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:09:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 http://lolz.info/a-guy-goes-into-a-restaurantlounge/ http://lolz.info/a-guy-goes-into-a-restaurantlounge/#comments Wed, 20 Jul 2011 12:09:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=2588 Continue reading →]]> A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collarand is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission.So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie anddiscovers that he just doesn’t have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free.He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, “Well, OK, I guess you can come in – just don’t start anything.” ]]> http://lolz.info/a-guy-goes-into-a-restaurantlounge/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/ouch/ http://lolz.info/ouch/#comments Sun, 20 Feb 2011 21:09:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=2591 Continue reading →]]> “What happened?” asked the hospital visitor of the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed.”Well, I went down to Margate at the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I triedto read it but it was very small and I couldn’t make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn’t see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view.”"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?” asked the visitor.”Yes.”"What did it say?”"Don’t stand up in the car!” ]]> http://lolz.info/ouch/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/a-man-stops-by-a-diner-at-noon/ http://lolz.info/a-man-stops-by-a-diner-at-noon/#comments Sun, 20 Feb 2011 06:09:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=2586 Continue reading →]]> A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner. The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty. As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee. The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full. After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him, “How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?” The man says, “Two’s fine.” She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup. “And cream?” she asks. The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, “You wouldn’t dare!” ]]> http://lolz.info/a-man-stops-by-a-diner-at-noon/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/a-responsible-applicant/ http://lolz.info/a-responsible-applicant/#comments Mon, 31 Jan 2011 21:01:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=735 Employer to applicant: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every timeanything went wrong, they said I was responsible.” ]]> http://lolz.info/a-responsible-applicant/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/what-does-it-mean-when-the-flag-at-the/ http://lolz.info/what-does-it-mean-when-the-flag-at-the/#comments Mon, 31 Jan 2011 18:01:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=734 What does it mean when the flag at thePost Office is flying at half mast? They’re hiring. ]]> http://lolz.info/what-does-it-mean-when-the-flag-at-the/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/the-organization-is-like-a-tree-full-of-monkeys/ http://lolz.info/the-organization-is-like-a-tree-full-of-monkeys/#comments Mon, 31 Jan 2011 09:01:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=731 Continue reading →]]> The organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on differentlimbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. ]]> http://lolz.info/the-organization-is-like-a-tree-full-of-monkeys/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/it-had-taken-him-several-months-but-the-executive-vice-president/ http://lolz.info/it-had-taken-him-several-months-but-the-executive-vice-president/#comments Sat, 29 Jan 2011 12:01:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=716 Continue reading →]]> It had taken him several months, but the executive vice presidenthad finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back ofhis leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way.”And just where have you been until this hour?” demanded hiswife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.”Down at the office,” he replied, “working like a dog.” ]]> http://lolz.info/it-had-taken-him-several-months-but-the-executive-vice-president/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/legion-camel-1/ http://lolz.info/legion-camel-1/#comments Mon, 03 Jan 2011 03:11:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=17 Continue reading →]]> A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won’t budge.The woman stops and says, “Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?”The legionarie tells her the camel won’t budge but she’s welcome to try. The reporter gets out of the jeep, takes two bricks from the back and POW… smashes the camel’s testicles with the bricks. The camel makes a terrible noise and runs off into the desert.The captain drops his pants and says, “Great! Do me next, I’ve got to catch that son of a bitch!” ]]> http://lolz.info/legion-camel-1/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/grape-and-elephant/ http://lolz.info/grape-and-elephant/#comments Wed, 03 Nov 2010 00:11:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=16 Q: What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?A: None. It just lets out a little wine. ]]> http://lolz.info/grape-and-elephant/feed/ 0 http://lolz.info/racoon-joke/ http://lolz.info/racoon-joke/#comments Tue, 02 Nov 2010 15:11:00 +0000 admin http://kannada4u.com/jokes/?p=13 Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn’t, he got hit by a car. ]]> http://lolz.info/racoon-joke/feed/ 0