Category Archives: Doctor Jokes

|A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!Operator: Okay, sir, you’re an ambulance!

|Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

|Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

|A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out.Patient: I wanna second opinion.Doctor: Okay, you’re ugly, too.

|Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.

|Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything!Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?Patient: What problem? A variationDoctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?Patient: What pills?

|1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient’s suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.2. Be cheerful at all times.Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and … Continue reading →

|Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!Doctor: Don’t worry about it. You’ll pass eventually.Liz: I’m the examiner!

|Doctor: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be eighty.Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

|Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?