Category Archives: Computer Jokes

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt. 2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone … Continue reading →

TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM 9.9999973251 It’s a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug8.9999163362 It’s the new math 7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes 6.9999831538 You Don’t Need to Know What’s Inside 5.9999835137 Redefining the PC — and Mathematics … Continue reading →

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is … Continue reading →

Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet? Have your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure to your computer monitor? How do you know if you’re addicted to the Net and losing touch with … Continue reading →

Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is … Continue reading →

My computer crashed and died today And I thought, “oh well what the hey” Now I’d have time to clean my house And see if I still had a spouseIt started out with weird frustrations Combined with mild heart palpitations … Continue reading →

Things You Don’t Want Your Sysadmin To Say1. Uh-oh…2. Oh S***!3. What the heck?!?4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?)5. That’s SOOOOO bizarre.6. Wow!! Look at this…7. Hey!! The Suns don’t do this.8. Terminated?!?9. What … Continue reading →

A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their program manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lunch break when they come upon an old brass lamp. They pick it up and dust it off. Poof — out … Continue reading →

My son is so lazy he hates emptying the trash in the recycle bin on his computer.

Why did a group of Columbians run away from a computer lab.Because the computer said you have performed an illegal operation and will be shutdown.